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Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in gwarandpeas' LiveJournal:

Friday, June 26th, 2009
8:15 pm
Dazed Fat Unhappy
Polyresin Vinyl Latex
The Shoppers, 1976
It's worse today
Consumer, force-feed the empty calories
Down your throat and into the
Bellies of your children
Watch your favorite program
Stay inside where it's safe
Feed the neurosis dessert
Download that movie
or watch it streaming
Beat your old high score
ignore the internal bleeding
Beat your head against the wall
to get that euphoric fleeting feeling
Prilosec Xanax Nicotine
Burn the sage, bless this mess
Cover-ups are for the best
Brain-wash Zone out Tune in
Please just mask and pretend...
it all away.
8:11 pm
Stories sordid terrific terrifying tales oozing
and seeping from the pores of gray matter
Lucid dreaming steaming smoking from the ears
Bellowing hot and heavy from the smokestack fingertips
Drowning in this fat overfilling vat of human waste and fog
Repeat 1 song until the picture becomes crystal clear
Sister Alright Love Wasted; Silver Eyes Beat
The narrative comes to life and threatens my intentions
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
9:29 am
Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful
The things I do in 2s, 3s, and 5s
Purchase Sort Count
List Assemble Place

My mind closes in;
Lassoing a thought
Rope tight around its neck
Strangling it down to the dusty ground
Steel-toe boot pressing firmly on languid throat
Beating, kicking, long after its death
Spew dip spit onto the corpse for good measure
Never satisfied, never fulfilled

Obsession triggers bind and tie me
Lack of closure encloses
Hurt pride enrages; locks the cage
Slave to irrational compulsions
Cyclical, never-ending trainwreck of emotion
12:21 am
I paint a portrait of your face
Not your bared-teeth smiling
Not your chest exposed

Your practiced expression
Not your money, manner, wealth
Not your possessions, position, health
Out of this world's reality
Timeless and beautiful
Tragically hip and posed

On my wall you tilt your chin, affix your gaze
The transparent mannequin shining
Through my overhead projector
Your bare bones black and white
Rectangular reflection
Projecting the emotional refusal
Protected from my robotic automatic
Through the motions

Your portrait leans against my bookshelf
Solitary in its canvas prison
Barred from hurt and rejection

I left you breathless in your mother’s house
Ravenous for the mythic LTR
Poised and waiting, biding your time
Poisoned by my impulsivity
Broken by my capricious rapture
I left you wanting more than a whore
I apologize to you, my sensitive muse
I gave you all that I had to offer
A portrait for your affection
And nothing more.
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
4:52 pm
White Trash Lightning 4 Years Past
I was your bolt of lightning
Listening to that Pumpkins song on repeat
Having complete control of your stereo
Sharing that galleon jug of rum
with your friends in your car
I didn't drink in my own car yet

We were flashy and bright
As you drove us through West Tulsa
to that dirty motel room
Where the fat one taped the others having sex
We dwindled to nothing, no longer flashy

I act disgusted when retelling the account
Although it really intrigued me
Like a National Geographic special
on the cultural oddities of white trash
Thunder clapped and I threw my dip can away
Hopefully this time for good
Monday, March 2nd, 2009
12:19 am
Awkward is spelled so ackwardly
It's the spindly delicate tree limbs after a harsh winter
As beautiful as sincerity
Try and break away
The fragile arms transform into thick and binding intertwining vines
Trapping talk bubbles into gaseous pockets of air
Suffocating comfort
Saturday, February 28th, 2009
6:03 pm
#6 On My Speed Dial
I have a special place in my heart for #6 on my speed dial.
My voicemail is #1 and is the default
The numbers 2, 3, and 4 are my immediate family members
#5 is a girl friend
But 6! is my favorite boy of the moment.
I sneak it in after #5 to convince myself that
they're NOT the most important person in my life
The longest shelf life of a #6 on record is 8 months.
It's not that I'm capricious, but things change -
Locations, schools, jobs.
#6 is for the boy that I enjoy talking to most in the world.
I'm sorry I don't like you like that #6.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009
12:28 pm
Third Base On A Non-Date Due To Feelings Of Existentialism And Boredom
"Hey Baby, Beautiful, Sweetheart (et al)
I miss your smile
When do you want to hang out?"

"Hey you are so disposable I can't be bothered to
treat you like a person and commit your proper
name to memory.
I miss imagining you naked.
When do you want to eat food (not promising to take
you on a real date), talk of topical things, and
hopefully touch each others' genitals?"

How about sometime after six?
Monday, January 21st, 2008
12:45 am
Your 1996 Theme Song Is: 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins

Shakedown 1979
Cool kids never have the time
On a live wire right up off the street
You and I should meet
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